“I’m so sorry, but there’s no sign of a pregnancy.”
I can still feel the wave of shock and loss when I heard those words one Thursday afternoon in a hospital room after an emergency ultrasound.
I was about to begin my ninth week of pregnancy for a baby my husband Ian and I had prayed and believed for, for almost two years. This was certainly not the way we thought things would turn out.
Over the following days and weeks, I found my head teeming with questions; Why did this happen?…Could I have changed anything?…Did I do something wrong?
I’ve got to admit that in the middle of this, I was struggling to understand why God would let this happen. Where was He in this situation?
A couple of days later, I was reading my Bible and I had one of those moments where the scripture literally jumps off the page and into your heart.It was Genesis 28:15 where God says to Jacob:
“Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”
In that moment, my question “God where are you?” was answered: I felt an assurance that God was right in the middle of this with us and a conviction that He would “bring us back to this land” and fulfil the promise of us having a child.
From then on, as we worked through our loss, I surrounded my life with this scripture. I would read it every day. I even made a picture of it and put it up in our living room.
A few months later, we discovered that I was pregnant again. Amongst the excitement of this news, I also found myself feeling fearful. What if I miscarried again? What if things didn’t turn out how we hoped? Could I really trust God with this after my previous experience?
But every time that fear tried to show it’s face, this scripture from Genesis would bubble up in me, bringing a sense of peace that God was with me and an assurance that I could trust in Him. After chewing on it, speaking it out and choosing to stand on it, the conviction that this scripture gave me overtook any fear I felt, every time.
I’ll never forget the sense of joy we felt when we heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. And now we have a very happy, healthy (and hyper) three and a half year old to keep us on our toes. He’s our living, breathing reminder that our God keeps His word. That our God is so faithful.
So I’d love to encourage you today, no matter what season or circumstance you are in right now: stand on the Word of God.
It’s living and active. It carries power. It testifies to God’s faithfulness. It’s packed full of His goodness.
It’s not just for dramatic times in our lives, but it’s for every day.
Let’s pick it up. Let’s surround our world with it. Let’s leave nothing in our lives uncovered by the Word of God.
Written by Pastor Kat Harding (Hope City Sunderland) as part of the SHE IS Collective Blog Series